Blessed

Another Christmas has come and gone.

It's hard to believe it's already over. But I was definitely not short on holiday fun this year. So many parties, get-togethers and activities to celebrate Christmas, the birth of Jesus and being in community. It all reminded me how blessed I am to have all these wonderful people in my life.

Brian was sick over Christmas, so it was especially hard for him to enjoy it as much as he would have otherwise. I so wanted him to feel better. Thankfully he's on the mend, and there were still wonderful moments for us on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

We are entering into a time of change as the new year approaches. I'm scared but trying to trust that God will take care of us. Christmas reminded me of just how much my family takes care of us and how they will always be here, no matter what happens. I'm so thankful for them.

Christmas is a great time to reflect on and appreciate how blessed we are. I hope I never take the people in my life for granted. They are so wonderful. Each of them are gifts from God.

"I receive you as a gift from God to me."

Christmas

I LOVE Christmas. Seriously. LOVE.

I started secretly celebrating Christmas coming on November 1, because Holt Renfrew and Starbucks had their Christmas displays up. Oh it's so exciting. I know some people won't even talk about Christmas until December 1, and I understand that. Especially those who don't talk about it because they think Christmas is too commercial and just want to focus on Jesus as the reason for the season. I do get that. But I don't see why we can't be excited for Jesus coming for more than four weeks.

So I'm still full of Christmas cheer. Our tree is up- our first tree! Oh it's just wonderful. We also have an Advent log in our house, which we light on Sundays to celebrate the four weeks of Advent- our time of waiting for Jesus to come. We even have the chocolate Advent calendar. There's so many things in our house to remind us of Christmas, of the joy and love surrounding the wonderful holiday, and of the amazing gift God sent us two thousand years ago in Jesus. We are truly blessed.

Move

maybe we are getting in the canoe,
ready to head down the river.

Retreat & Return

This past weekend, Brian & I headed off to Camp Valaqua for an Awaken retreat. It was just lovely. To be able to get away, to spend time with friends, to focus on God, to forget about city life for a minute- it was exactly what I needed. Now I actually didn't get as much rest as I hoped for, because we stayed up late playing Dutch Blitz and Things In A Box, but that was completely worth it. I loved laughing that much. It felt like there was something worth smiling and laughing about the whole weekend. I'm so thankful for all the wonderful people who were there with me this weekend.

Now I'm right back into "regular" life. Grad school applications are really sneaking up here. Some are due in less than a month. I have no idea where the time went. But I'm trying to keep my head above water and not let these applications take up so much of my time that I'm neglecting my current school work or my relationships with the people that support me. If you could keep me in your prayers, that would be much appreciated.

Grad school applications also bring up fear. Fear that I won't get in. Fear that I can't pursue a career in counselling. Fear that maybe this isn't where I'm supposed to be. This fear is very unsettling. And I'm struggling to just give it to God and let Him take care of me. So prayers in that would be appreciated too.

This is a busy, crazy, uncertain time. But I know the best things will stay the same, and I'm so thankful for those things.

P.S. Christmas decorations are beginning to fill the city! It is truly the most wonderful time of the year.

Home

As I sit in my little basement suite, studying for a midterm and looking forward to when my husband comes home from work, I can't help but think of how blessed we are.

I love our home.

Yes, it's small. But that means it's cozy.
Yes, it's pretty much one big room.
But that means we're together, even when we're doing different things.
Yes, some things don't fit. But that means we're learning to live simply and to decorate creatively.

I love how many memories we've already created and have yet to create in our "first home". I feel so content and at peace when I'm at home, when I stop to reflect on everything that has happened here. We live in a great neighborhood and we're relatively close to the important things and people in our lives. It's pretty wonderful.

Also, we love having people over. So you should come over.

But my peace also has nothing to do with our apartment, all at the same time. Brian is my home. Everything is better when I'm with him- he reminds me that everything will be okay. I see God in him every day, and God's Kingdom is also our home. Being in my earthly home with my incredible husband is a great reminder of that.

I feel so blessed to be home.

"if home is where the heart is,
then my home is where you are."

Escape

This past weekend, Brian & I went to Lethbridge to stay with our dear friends, Carissa-Lynn & Blair. It was just such a wonderful visit. I feel so relaxed and refreshed from being there. Not only did we get out of the city for a bit, but we got to spend quality time with the Stretch's and also with Georgia, who we love to pieces.

It's funny how a change of pace can have such a substantial impact on how you feel. Brian & I have been so swamped with school/work and all kinds of regular life things that we really needed a break. We found it in Lethbridge. We didn't worry about school or work or anything else and just enjoyed our time there. I'm hoping this relaxed feeling sticks around for a while.

The weekend also made me so thankful for friends, all over again. I have such wonderful people in my life. Carissa and I have been friends for almost four years now. I think that's pretty wonderful. It was just so great to reconnect, to support each other in our experiences, whether they are different or exactly the same, and to laugh together. I love laughing with good friends.

What a blessed little trip to Lethbridge!

Absolutely

This song breathes life right into my heart.

It just has such a beautiful message. While I stumble and fall in my faith, God loves me unconditionally. That is unbelievable. And so amazing. He is beyond deserving of my love. I love my God, because He first loved me.

Jesus, I am absolutely in love with You.

One

Brian and I have started on a year-long journey, with some wonderful people, based on the book "One - A Face Behind The Numbers.

The book focuses on different aspects of social justice, such as corruption, diseases and education. Each chapter is devoted to a specific issue, and there are twelve chapters. We are focusing on one chapter per month for a year, learning by reading the book and research, as well as looking for ways we can help and putting them into action.

We just started, but I'm so excited about it. October's chapter is Slavery. I learned so much from just reading. Slavery is so pervasive in developing countries, which breaks my heart. But we can help. Check out Anti Slavery for ideas.

There are so many things going on in our world I'm unaware of, and I can't wait to learn about them. The first step to changing the world is to learn about it.

I'd love to talk to anyone if you're interested about this, and any of the issues.

Check out the ONE movement.

Awaken

Community is a wonderful thing.

One of the biggest reasons Gull Lake meant so much to me over the years was because of the community, and the lasting relationships I built there. Over the past couple of years, Brian and I have been searching for the "right" community for us, so that we could be connected with people to love and who love us, in order to grow in our relationships with God. We have both been involved with Awaken in an off-and-on sense for a long time, but always wondered if it was right for us, because of the focus on Bowness. A while back, we decided that while we may never live in Bowness, that doesn't mean we can't have an impact on the community, and also that we can take what we learn at Awaken and apply it to our lives in Mission & downtown Calgary.

That was a wonderful decision.

We are so happy at Awaken. Not only do we have the opportunity to connect with some of our most loved Gull Lake friends, but we also have built new relationships and have been learning so much. We also get to be involved in different aspects of ministry, both in the church and in Bowness.

It feels so good to be back in community.

We have joined a Small Group, which really inspired me last night. It's full of such great people who have a heart for God and so much knowledge and wisdom to share. Once a week, we get to come together, talk about our lives and God, and learn from one another.

It's going to be a great year. I'm so thankful.

Reflections

So much has happened for me in the last six weeks. First, I got married. Talk about a beautiful day. Brian & I were so blessed throughout the whole day, with love, joy, happiness, family and friends.

We headed off on our incredible honeymoon to the best city in the world, New York City. We had the best time, seeing two Broadway shows (Wicked and Fela!), visiting museums, shopping, sightseeing and buying shoes (hello Manolos, a la Carrie Bradshaw).

Then, my beautiful cousin Vanessa got married in Kelowna to a wonderful guy named Jon. I was honored to be a bridesmaid.

Finally, we had our big Day Camp at the church. It was an exhausting week, but the kids and volunteers were such blessings. And I really think it was a fabulous week for everyone else involved.

And as all of these big events have been happening, I got wrapped up in them and I forgot to rely on God. I was so busy that I let my time with God slip away. And I noticed the negative effect of this loss. Unfortunately, I don't think I fully understood its cause, and therefore didn't fix what was broken. In Day Camp, I was forced to rely on God. Brian & I were both sick and I was beyond exhausted. But God was using me anyways. He gave me the strength I needed to get through the week. I fully believe that He carried me.

While it's easy to remember to rely on God in bad times, I need to remember to rely on Him in the good times too. He's the reason those good times are happening. I firmly believe that God brought Brian & I together and blessed us by uniting us in marriage. So I want to thank God for that. I need to thank Him. For He is with me at all times, good and bad. So I want to be with Him.

Almost Time

I can hardly believe there are fifteen days until we get married. When we got engaged, I thought July would never get here. But it's the end of June now! Ahh. God has been really graceful with me through this process. My fiancé has been incredibly supportive. And my friends have been there for me in everything. I'm so blessed. There have been some ups and downs in the planning, but I'm confidant that everything will be fine. I get to marry Brian. Nothing else matters. I've been reminding myself of that whenever I felt myself stressing out and I'm thankful for that truth.

Now it's all coming to fruition, as I prepare to walk down the aisle, marry my best friend and have a big party with our loved ones. I can barely contain my excitement and joy.

And as wonderful as our wedding day will be, I know it's just the beginning. The beginning of our lives together as one. And we are so ready to embark on this adventure. God is so good.

Future

As our wedding gets closer, I think about our marriage more and more. We will be married very soon- in 93 days, in fact. I'm so excited to start our life together as the Merritts, instead of just the Almost Merritts (although that does have a cute ring to it). I feel so blessed to be marrying my best friend. For the rest of my life, I get to be with the man who is always there for me, who supports me, who loves me unconditionally, who makes me laugh and who loves God as much as I do. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Some people may say I'm too young to get married. But I say, age is just a number. We want to spend our lives together. And I think we've taken the necessary time to make sure we're ready for this, because marriage is a big step. I truly believe that God planned for us to be together and we're able to express our love because of what God has given us. We are so blessed.

I'm ready. I'm ready to be a wife. I'm ready to share my entire life with my best friend. Thank you to all of our friends who have been there for us and will be there as we embark on this adventure.

Laughter

I've never been one of those people who spends hours upon hours on Youtube. Not that I don't think I could be- I just don't want to try, for fear that I get addicted. But some wonderful people have shown me some adorable videos, that make me laugh.

I hope the future little Merritts are this awesome:


And also this adorable and witty:


This one makes my heart smile, because it's the definition of love:


I hope those brought you joy!

Letters

I've embarked on my second season of Lent. But I kind of changed the rules for myself this year. I reflected on my experience last year, of giving up comfort food, and I'm not sure I fully utilized the Lent season to it's potential, in terms of my relationship with God. So instead of explicitly giving something up this year, I have decided to journal every day. At some point in the day, every day, I spend time with God by praying and journaling. I'm hoping that this develops into a natural habit, part of my everyday life, without even having to think about it. So far, it's been a wonderful experience. I have a lot of amazing things in my life and not a lot to worry about, and so I've found that I haven't been feeling that "need" to connect with God as much. This daily journaling has been really important for me, to remember that the "need" is not just about when life is rough. I have to thank God for all the amazing things in my life, and not take them for granted. My fiance, my family, my friends, my school, my house, my future home...the list could go on forever. So I've taken to writing letters to God, talking to Him about my day and about what I am thankful for and sometimes things I need help with. But it's just been so comforting to spend time alone with God everyday. I think my version of Lent is perfect for me, where I'm at. And I don't think God is upset that I bent the rules.

Your Love Is Strong

dear jon foreman,
thank you for making beautiful music
that speaks to my soul and
reminds me to breathe.

i look out the window
the birds are composing
not a note is out of tune
or out of place
i look at the meadow
and stare at the flowers
better dressed than any girl
on her wedding day

so why do i worry?
why do i freak out?
God knows what i need
You know what i need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

two things you told me
that You are strong
and You love me
yes, You love me