Joy

This Advent season, I've been very conscious of how amazing the Christmas story really is. It is the story of a baby being born in a difficult situation, into a broken world, coming to save us. I have really collided with the reality that Jesus was a real person, just like me and you. He walked this earth. He struggled with what we struggled with. In contemplating these thoughts, I stumbled upon the following devotion that I wanted to share here.

Joy To The World
(http://www.heartlight.org/articles/201012/20101223_joytotheworld.html#author-bio)

"The story of Jesus' birth has a gritty, real world feel that we recognize. This is our world, and this world is ...

• Disappointing
  You are Elizabeth and not able to have children and people whisper about what you have done wrong for this to be so.
• Embarrassing
  You are Mary: pregnant and not married, in a small town where people whisper behind your back and pretend to be your friend.
• Harsh
  You are despised shepherds scraping by watching your flocks and sleeping in the fields at night, with the dampness of dew and the smell of dirty sheep permeating your filthy clothes.
• Earthy
  You are on a long journey in the last days of pregnancy with no place to stay and no place to deliver your baby except a stable with animals and a feed trough for a bassinet.
• Brutal
  You are a homeless little family with a maniacal and genocidal King trying to kill your baby, so you have to take a long journey, with no money, to foreign place to protect your son.

Yes, the story of Jesus' birth has a gritty, real world feel we recognize. We know these places and problems. This is our world! It helps to know that our God knows our troubles and our struggles of our world firsthand — to know that in our troubles, we can go to him and receive mercy and grace to help in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

But the reason for the season is JOY! Joy to the world, the Lord has come! This is our story of JOY! The power in Jesus' coming is that he faced the toughness of our world in a myriad of ways and into each tough situation, his coming brought JOY! And still can!

In the years of repeated disappointment, Jesus coming brought the laughter of a child for Elizabeth and her friends.
When it was time for Elizabeth to have her baby, she gave birth to a son. Her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown her great mercy, and they shared her joy (Luke 1:57-58 TNIV).

In Mary's embarrassment at being pregnant outside of marriage, Jesus' coming brought a deep joy in sharing in God's work of bringing salvation.

My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! (Luke 1:46-47).

Despite the harshness of their existence, the fields and flocks become the Temple for angelic celebration and the place of good news for shepherds, and for us.

[The angels said] "I bring you good news of great joy ... Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord ... You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger" (Luke 2:10-11).

In the earthiness of stables, mangers, and hard journeys, Mary treasured the joy of her child's birth, the loyalty of Joseph, and the grace of God!

Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen (Luke 2:19).

Even in the brutality of Herod's genocidal rage, Mary and Joseph welcomed joyous Magi who recognized and worshiped Jesus as King.

When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him (Matthew 2:10-11).

Jesus is the great reminder that God has come to our world and changed everything, and left behind a doorway in every heartbreak for Jesus to come and bring fresh hope and the gift of joy."

May you experience the joyful reality of this Advent and Christmas season. May you know that Jesus is our gift of JOY. He is our Light in the darkness, our Hope when we're hopeless and our Joy in our sadness. How amazing.

Merry Christmas!

Learning

As I work on one of my presentations, I can't help but be struck by how much I've learned already, in two months. Sometimes I feel like I'm pushing myself unnecessarily, because I'm so thirsty for knowledge and may be running myself into the ground when I could be working on easier topics. But instead of letting that get me down, I'm trying to remember that this is all about learning and that all this knowledge will help me in my future practice. Rather than settling, I want to grow.

The other day, a friend of mine asked me about what therapy is like and I was able to tell him about the different theoretical orientations and we explored together what a good one for him might be. I found the conversation to be so encouraging because it reminded me that I have been learning so much and because it seemed to help him too. Some days I wonder whether I am good enough to be in this program, but conversations like that remind me that this is where I'm supposed to be.

We do so much self-reflection in this program. Seriously. I have a reflective journal for three out of my four classes. So sometimes it's hard to motivate myself to reflect outside of that context, but I think it's important. Reflecting on grad school as a learning experience, for example, has been helpful for me on days when I'm so stressed I just want to give up. Thanks to all my friends who have been checking in with me and asking how I'm doing, as it's really helpful for me to talk about how all this is going.

There's not much else going on in my life besides school these days, but I'm thankful for mini-breaks from it all like our Awaken retreat last weekend and going to BC with my sister-in-law and niece next weekend. Please, friends, let's go for coffee. I'd love to catch up with people I haven't seen in a while. Know that even though I'm busy, I love you heaps and would be more than happy to see you.

New Beginning

It's been so long since I last blogged, but I was inspired by a friend's blog to get back into it. I've been journalling a lot for my classes, so I haven't been journalling as much personally, let along blogging. But I'm trying to get back into this, as a break from school and a way to update people who I sadly haven't seen or talked to much lately.

I've been in school for almost a month now. It has flown by. The first week was crazy. Seriously. It was so overwhelming, with all new experiences, profs, classes, classmates and everything. I'm thankfully feeling more settled in now, but the time is going by so quickly. I'm having to remind myself to slow down and breathe, so that I don't miss these experiences but also so that it doesn't completely overwhelm me. I've met some absolutely wonderful people and am looking forward to spending the next two years with them. I'm so thankful for this opportunity. I'm trying to be grateful, rather than complaining about it. God has given me this path and I want to be joyful in following it.

Grad school has brought a lot of changes in my personal life. First of all, I would just like to say that I have the best husband ever. He is so patient and understanding. In our little bachelor suite, every little noise travels. I need a pretty quiet environment for studying, reading and writing, so when I'm doing that, he is so good about being quiet. I feel badly for creating such an environment and I know just how blessed I am that he is so considerate. I also really miss my friends. I have had some wonderful chances to see friends since school started, but I can already tell those times are disappearing (if not already gone). Besides Awaken, I don't have a lot of time set aside for social stuff. And sometimes, even if I am free, I'm too exhausted to do anything (such as right now, as I write this blog on a Saturday night- how cool am I?). So I absolutely miss my friends. I'm sorry if I have seemed like a bad friend. School is just taking up so much time and it needs to be a priority for me. I'm trying to skype more, so please catch me on there or give me a call if you miss me.

This is a new phase of life, a new beginning. Here's to being positive, not complaining and surviving by the grace of God. Thank you in advance for your prayers, support & love.

Finished

I still can't believe I've graduated. Maybe it will fully sink it once all my grades are officially in and submitted. But it's so unbelievable. It's been a long journey, beginning 5 years ago and ending on Friday. I'm so grateful for these past 5 years. I learned a lot about myself, especially when I switched majors, and I made some wonderful friends. And now I have my BA in Psychology with Honours. Yay!

Thank you to everyone who supported me in all kinds of ways through my degree. I couldn't have done it without you. You're all gifts from God to me. I love you all.

To all my friends who are still in uni, here's some things I learned in my undergrad that I wish someone had told me when I was starting and in school:
1. Get to know your profs. It's so helpful in terms of coursework and reference letters. Plus some of them are seriously awesome people.
2. Research is not that bad. Honours was one of the best parts of my degree. It was so time-consuming and took all my effort, but I learned so much.
3. Take the time to get to know people in your classes. Study groups can be very helpful. And before you know it, you may just become good friends.
4. It's okay if you don't know what you want to do with your degree. Don't let it freak you out. Take the time to research the field and find out what your passionate about. There's something out there for you to love doing.
5. Find a piece of happiness in every day, especially when school seems to be stressing you out and weighing you down. Happiness makes everything better.

Come September, I will officially be in the MSc in Counselling Psychology program at the UofC. I'm excited to be staying in Calgary, close to my family and friends, and I'm also really looking forward to all the opportunities of the program. I'm nervous, as everything will be new and it will apparently be heaps of work, but I'm so excited at the same time.

Bring on the nervous excitement.

Acceptance

It's official- I have been accepted to the Masters of Counselling program at TWO grad schools- Alder (in Vancouver and UofC). Brian and I have some big decisions to make. Plus I may hear more from other schools later. Who knows? But it's all very exciting.

It's such an answer to prayer. A couple nights ago, I was feeling really discouraged and stressed, about the uncertainty of it all. God knew exactly when I needed to hear this news, which is such a gift. God's timing is so much better than mine (which is a lesson I keep learning, over and over again. I can be so impatient. I'm thankful He keeps teaching me). This is an incredible way to begin Lent, being so reminded of God's faithfulness and the fact that He never leaves me, even when I lose sight of the good things He has for me.

God will always take care of me. How amazing.

I'm so excited for the opportunity to pursue an education in Counselling. I can't wait to learn, experience and grow, as a counsellor-in-the-making and as a person.

This has also reminded me of how blessed I am to be surrounded by amazing people. Thank you everyone, for your support, prayers and love, and the fact that no matter what decision I come to (with Brian, of course), I know you will continue to support me. You are all such gifts from God to me. How did I ever get to be so blessed?

Wow.

All Love

I've never been a fan of Valentine's Day. All the cards, presents and expectations can be hard for both couples and singles. Couples try to make huge romantic gestures that likely cost a lot of money, thanks to the inflation surrounding this day. Single people feel devalued because they don't have a significant other. And that really bothers me. People in relationships are no better than single people. So why does Hallmark rub it in their faces? It's a shame that a "holiday" makes people feel badly about themselves. So historically, I have not celebrated Valentine's Day (including the years I've been with Brian).

But I've been thinking a lot about this holiday. I think it can become a whole different kind of day. People say it's a day about love, but the focus is so heavily on romantic love. Why can't be a day for all kinds of love? Sometimes we take the people we love for granted and forget to tell them how much they mean to us. I was so blessed this weekend to spend time with people I love very much and I think that they know it. I hope they know it.

Maybe sharing our love, with friends, family and signficant others, can turn Valentine's Day into a great day. Who doesn't love being told they are loved? So please, spread the love today. All kinds of love.

Plans

Plans can change so quickly. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. But it's been amazing to me lately how fast "our" plans can change.

I say "our", because we can make plans all we want. But God's plan for our lives is what happens. I have so much trouble seeing the big picture sometimes that I can't even begin to understand God's plan for me. And it's so hard in the moment when something goes wrong to even try to think that God has something bigger and better planned. But it is such a reward when you finally see the good He has.

This has been on my heart lately because of all the plans I'm seeing come to fruition, not happen or be a surprise.

Some of my friends are applying for grad school, as I am. The waiting is so hard. But as it turns out, the rejection is harder. My heart is breaking for my friends who have worked so hard and really deserve to get into grad school, and yet may not be accepted. The idea of a back-up plan is something they didn't want to consider and now it's here. I know they will get into grad school, one day. I just hope they're happy in the meantime.

Other plans I'm seeing more often are engagements, weddings, divorce (I still struggle to believe this is already happening to people my age- breaks my heart), and babies. These plans can bring celebration, surprise (which can be positive or negative), but also negative emotions. I pray that positive things come out of all these plans, that override any negatives.

I hope as plans change, things can still bring us joy. I think there's always little things that can delight us, even in unfortunate situations. And eventually, good will come from this. We just need to be patient.

New Year

The new year always seems to be a time of reflection and change for most people. For the first time in possibly forever, I'm one of those people. Sure, I liked to look back on the year and celebrate all the good things that happened. But this year is different.

2010 was easily one of the best years of my life. I married my best friend, we spent a week in New York [the best city in the world] and have spent the past six months enjoying married life in our lovely little apartment. So it's great to reflect on all that.

But 2011 has brought serious change. This is my last semester of my undergrad. Come May, I will be out of school, waiting to hear if I will continue to be in school or if I will need to take some time off. Having such an uncertain future is new for me. Thankfully I am surrounded by incredibly supportive people who are with me in the waiting and will be with me once I know what the fall will bring. But I know that whatever happens, it will be a brand new experience, so I am trying to prepare for whatever comes. The other big change is that Brian is looking for a new job. He has been with Sunterra for a long time, but has decided he needs to find a job that suits him better, where he can shine. So now he's in the process of researching careers, jobs and what's out there. It's a big change. I'm excited for him in this new beginning. But it's also all really scary. So we're trying to rely on God in hopes that He will provide for us and that He will help Brian discern the career path he should follow. We've been encouraged so far and feel blessed to have, again, such supportive people in our lives.

Please keep us in your prayers in this new year. Thank you for your love and support.